Thursday, 18 July 2013

10 Things I Wish I Had Known Last Year

A few weeks ago, fellow blogging extraordinaire, Sarah posted about things she has learnt in the past few months. You should read about it here (<<SEE HOW TECHNOLOGICAL I AM BEING (but that is another story)). I was feeling particularly lonely and nostalgic today so I took a trip down memory lane and read through the heinously unedited posts of 2012. It is incredible how much is the same. I'm still left handed and shameless anit-dolphin rape- enthusiast, I still hate Jodi Picoult and applaud people with nice cinema etiquette. But in equal part there is a lot that has changed. These days, I'm not so hostile towards crying  I am about as spontaneous as nun during lent. (That was a  unnecessary introduction; here is a list of things I wish I had known last year)....

1. School is literally irrelevant. OPs means nothing and QCS is as important as keeping up with the shenanigans of the Summer Bay kids. I have no regrets in never doing homework.

2. Whilst school may be irrelevant; it is also incredibly easy. At school your life is mapped out for you in a neat six-period-2-lunch-break-5-days-a-week-plus-homework-timetable. It's like a gift-wrapped life from God. There is literally nothing bad about school; it fills in the hours.

3. Crying is important. Last year I wrote that "Crying is a low point in humanity". Dear readers, please consider this a retraction. Crying is important. Crying for no reason is important. Crying at absolutely nothing is important. This year I have traced my infant roots; and now I weep like a baby on a weekly basis.

4. Friends are like Aids. The good thing is once you leave school they become someone else's Aids.

5. I honestly used to believe that getting drunk was overrated. Let's just obliterate that thought. If you don't drink you must be stupid or dead; how else do you live in this world?

6. I genuinely like comic sans. Please feel free to read about my sudden relisation here

7. Last year, I wish I had known that I wasn't destined to be a Journalism and Mass Communications graduate. It's not that I particularly regret quitting uni, or the process of uncovering what it is I really want; but I would have loved to not have come in contact with the careers councilor at QUT. Apparently due to a severe case of intelligence I shouldn't be studying art; just what the fuck (see point 5).

8. People diagnosed with mental illnesses have more fun.

9. Cockroaches are just the coolest mother fuckers out. I wish I had wasted more of my life obsessing over their moist bodies.

10. Life is too short to edit blog posts.

Thanks for making it to the end of 10 Things I Wish I Had Known Last Year. It's a shame I couldn't have posted it last year really...
These days I just bring all the literate and well read boys to the yard with excellent taste in cardigans, glasses (the men on e-harmony are lining up).
CIAO readerz.