Wednesday, 18 July 2012

Left Hand Prejudice Exists

Ever been writing an in class essay only to drag your hand across the wet ink? Ever had to teach your non-dominant hand how to use a computer mouse? Ever struggled to use a grater? If you have struggled with such things you are either disabled or left handed. Yes, amongst other things which make me a severely flawed human being (being a klutz, having excessively pronated feet, impacted teeth and being a chronic asthmatic) is the fact that I am a lefty.  Most websites generally agree that left handers make up 5-10% of our population world wide. The reliable Wikipedia estimated that one in every ten people are left handed. With these statistics one would expect left handers to blend into society; but we don't. There are dumb ass people who say that being left handed carries no disadvantage in life; I feel like impaling them to a stake. Society has always discriminated against us left handers and sadly probably always will. 

Some random merde I read on Wikipedia said that left handedness was always considered negative. The word left itself is derived from the Ango-Saxson word lyft, meaning weak. Well Ango-Saxsons, the joke is on you because it is a proven fact that left-handers adjust more readily to seeing underwater.

Perhaps the singularly most irritating thing about being left handed is the disadvantages we have in most sports. Who ever invented guitar hero was a righteous nob; how the frack am I suppose to have equal opportunity at winning against my right hand dominant brother when I am forced to play upside down? Researcher Dr. Nick Cherbuin in an interview with AM ABC discovered that the connection between the left and right brain is somewhat larger and better connected in left-handers. This means, hypothetically that we left handers have slight advantages in sports, gaming and activities in which the participant faces large volumes of stimuli in quick succession. I said hypothetical because these so called advantages seemed to have missed me. I can't name one sport in which I have the advantage upon my opponent.
Ned Flanders, the original activist for left-handers
Let's be honest I couldn't give a shivering squirrel that I have advantages in stimulating actives when my accuracy of using 65% of firearms is significantly less than right handers. Honestly what if I wanted to become a cop, or member of a gang; my safety would be seriously jeopardised. Heck, I can hardly use a public telephone and knives; because yes, they are also made for right handers. We are in 2012; there are groups which promote equal rights for homosexuals, women, animals and the environment. What about the fundamental rights of the left handers? August 13th is international left handers day. On this day take time to think about the alarming statistic I stumbled across; on average left handed people die nine years earlier than their right-handed counter parts. As a good friend once put it, I am a left hander living in a right hander's world. 

On a chirpier note;  here are a list of famous left handers; try and make a list this long of right handers, let's be honest it's impossible.

David Bowie
Celine Dion
Kurt Cobain
Bob Geldolf
Jimi Hendrix
Sir Paul MacCartney
Ringo Starr
Ricky Martin
Tim Allen
Jack the Ripper
Napoleon Bonaparte
Julius Caesar
Neil Armstrong
Henry Ford
Joan of Arc
Helen Keller
Queen Mother
Prince William
Winston Churchill
President George Bush
Hans Christian Anderson
Jason Alexander
Pierce Brosnan
Drew Carey
Charlie Chaplin
Robert DeNiro
Ben Stiller
Nicole Kidman
Lisa Kudrow
Julia Roberts
Emma Thompson
Bruce Willis
Oprah Winfrey
Whoopi Goldburg
Angelina Jolie
Leonardo da Vinci
Marilyn Munroe
Gracyn Bower
Melea O'Reilly


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  2. As a 'lefty' myself, I was in fits of laughter as I read this. So relatable. Great article. Keep it up!

    1. Thanks, appreciate the feedback. It's always nice to see this stuff reaches more than my the people who read it out of mere obligation.

      Got a bit stalker-ish (forgive me) and checked out your blog. Awesome photography... you too keep it up!